Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
