She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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