well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
