Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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