They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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