felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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