im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
