Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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