I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
