watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize