That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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