shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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