If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
