He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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