I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
