Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
