this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
