i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have post one night stand depression
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