So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
