I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
