She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
