brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
