Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize