If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
