Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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