Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
