I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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