it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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