Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
