I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
