I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
