32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize