Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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