I'm eating all of the evidence.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
