i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Randomize
