Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
