Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
