we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
