Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize