He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize