i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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