Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
