belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
