no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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