i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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