I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize