careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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