going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize