Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
