went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
