I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i now understand why vodka
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize