my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
