I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
