You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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