I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
