True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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