we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
