ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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