So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
