what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
